Fat Fridays [random rant]

FAT FRIDAY


Gotta love Fridays, it's essentially the start of weekend [ just got to get through the work day]. During the week, Mark and I eat relatively healthy and exercise. Each morning I have oatmeal with a little brown sugar and fresh fruit. For lunch, I'll usually eat a salad and/or soup or bring some type of left overs [still healthy]. Then when I get home, I work out and eat a salad with some type of protein. I'm not on any kind of wedding diet or have an ideal weight I want to reach, I do all this to be healthy and at the same time it makes me feel good.


"Fat Friday" usually begins during dinner for me. Dinner usually consists of sushi[not bad but it's a ritual], burgers, pasta, pizza, and ice cream or some type of sweets at the end of the meal. It usually lasts until Sunday night. It's a pretty sweet deal; eat healthy and work out during the week, then throw it all away during the weekend! haha. Mark and I use the weekend as a small escape from the week and have our special dates that is comprised of eating. We're fat kids and we love it!














Okay, there's my random, non wedding post.

Bridezilla

After having a lunch date with my high school friend, Amy, we began to talk about my wedding and what it meant to be a bridezilla. Hence, the inspiration to write my next blog. I guess when I got engaged, a good amount of people imagined that I would become a bridezilla because of my tendencies to have everything "perfect".

For anyone who knows me, I'm very hands on; I know what I want and what to stay away from! For someone who's indecisive, I'm the complete opposite when it comes to planning large gatherings and events, such as my wedding. From what I've seen from the TLC show, those brides are beyond extreme! They throw cake around, have tantrums, seem ungrateful, and are completely rude to everyone they surround. I believe that planning a wedding should be fun, challenging, and rewarding at the end. I've done everything possible to mitigate any "freak outs" by just taking it one day at a time.

AVOID BEING A BRIDEZILLA
A few steps that I've followed to help avoid being a crazy bride:
1. Budget
2. Time line
3. Organization


1. Three simple steps, BUT they go a long way! Regardless of how small or how large your budget is, understand it and don't go over it [especially, if you don't have the means]. Once you've discussed the budget/finances with your fiance, put money aside each month into the "wedding account." Always give yourself cushion[10% should be sufficient] just in case you run into some unforeseen issues down the road. If you're planning a $50,000 wedding, have at least $5,000 of cushion. Regardless of how much thought and planning you've done, things happen, be prepared!

2. From the time you get engaged, you'll plan what season, month, and even week you want to get married. Whether you plan to wed 6 months from when you get engaged to a couple years down the road, understand time. Once you figure out how many months you have before the big day, set yourself a deadline for each vendor. Since I've had a year and a half to plan [engaged in November 2010, getting married May 2012], I've been able to book vendors when it's been convenient for me and Mark. By next April, the only things I'll be working on is finalizing seating arrangements, making the place cards, and counting the number of attendees.

3. Organization is key for your sanity. I also carry one of the two notebooks[one is more compact] everywhere I go. Phone calls can happen at any time of the day; you can meet a potential vendor or reference, etc and will need to write down important information. Also, in my notebook I keep my monthly deadlines.

for example: September
1. Pay deposit for Brunch
2. Pay deposit for DJ
3. Schedule first pre-cana with the priest
4. Schedule first pre-marital counseling with the pastor
5. Touch base with the florist


Once I've completed everything on the list, I don't do anything for the rest of the month. Even though I might finish early, I don't want to burn myself out with planning. I move onto the next month with what I want completed, and etc.


CONCLUDING THOUGHTS:
Wedding planning should be as pleasant as possible. You know yourself better than anyone else, stay away from things that will drive you insane! Determine a budget: Set a certain amount of money aside and put it into a separate savings account dedicated to the wedding alone. This should be a joint effort between you and your fiance. Plan a time line: What vendors will you take care of each month, what do you want accomplished? [you can divide it by every 3 months or monthly] then see where you are in relation to the larger picture. Set realistic deadlines! Stay organized: you'll know where everything is and what needs to be done. Don't get ahead of yourself or get burned out through the process.

Following these simple guidelines are ways to stay away from being the next bridezilla.

It's a Marathon of Events!

Our wedding isn't just a one day event, it's a marathon. On Friday, after our rehearsal at the church, we'll have dinner near our hotel. On Saturday we'll have our wedding and after party. Then Sunday morning we'll have our brunch. The last event before we see everyone off..or before everyone sees us off and we go on our honeymoon =]

REHEARSAL DINNER

I'm excited about the venue we chose for our rehearsal dinner because of the sentimental value it holds to us. Through out our relationship, during good and bad times, it has always been our "go to" restaurant. Every time we're there we order the same exact thing or we'll switch with each other. The banquet manager is doing us the honor of customizing our menu [rather than choosing from their menu]. Mark chose his favorite entree and I've chosen mine, the appetizer is the one we always share together and well we haven't decided desserts but I'm sure they'll be delicious. Of course, a kids menu will be provided as well. Our guest will have invitations sent to them as well as their meal option.

BRUNCH


The venue is dear to my heart because it was one of the last dates we had, before Mark started his USMC career. Our brunch venue is slightly far from the hotel, but it's definitely worth waking up early and having to drive out. I'm sure everyone that is attending will hate us because of how early they need to wake up on Sunday [leave the hotel by 9am after a wedding is rough]. We will have our customized menu of 6 entrees to choose from, 4-5 entrees for kids, and the brunch buffet. Every time Mark and I go to this restaurant for brunch, it has never been a disappointment! The ambiance is spectacular and the food is delicious. It definitely sets a wonderful mood for the rest of the day.



Not only do I like the stories behind our Rehearsal Dinner and Brunch venue, but I also loved working with the events/banquet manager. The entire process has been so simple and everything we've done with the venue is customized to meet our needs.

The thought of everything gets me so excited! I can't wait until MAY!!!

Premarital Counseling

Mark and I have been blessed with an amazing relationship, but that doesn't mean it has always been easy. When you deal with hardships and work together to get through those moments, you learn to appreciate your relationship that much more.

Mark and I find it necessary[not only because it's mandatory] to get the premarital counseling to help prepare us for our marriage. We have spoken about every aspect of our future: life after our wedding, apartments, houses, children, and even divorce. We agreed that we wouldn't use divorce as an option, EVER. We'll do everything in our power to communicate and avoid that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone who gets divorces, but between Mark and I, it's not an option.

Yesterday, September 25, we met with Pastor Dan Taylor, who will be leading our premarital/post marital counseling. We're expecting it to be challenging, yet rewarding. During that time, we'll be meeting with a financial advisor, which we're looking forward to doing. During that time, we'll be learning a lot about each other and grow together as one. Pastor Dan will stand by the priest during the ceremony and offer his words as well.

Today, September 26, we're meeting Father Whitestone, who will be leading our Pre-Cana aka Premarital counseling. It will be 1.5 hours long and we'll be filling out a questionnaire. We will be meeting 4-5 times, in private, prior to the wedding. Again, this will be a time where Mark and I can grow together with our relationship and during our marriage.


-------EDIT 9/28/11-------
Mark and I met with Father Whitestone, we were late to our first Pre-Cana Meeting SMH! Mark said "I guess that's why God teaches us forgiveness" and "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!" Anyways, we had to answer a questionnaire that was comprised of 160+ questions. They consisted of financial, children, in-laws, sex, and other personal questions. The next few meeting will be on that "test" and talk about our future.

Communication/Contracts

Let's see, in the past 6 months, I've booked the venue, church, rehearsal dinner, brunch, photographer, dj, photobooth, bought my dress, sent out the STDs, had our photo shoot, and had 2 engagement parties.

Like I said, LOTS to catch up on.

Where to begin...

I feel very blessed for the amazing support from my fiance. He's been actively involved in the entire planning process from choosing the color to deciding what flowers to use. Some brides make all the decision, but my guy stands by my side and helps with everything. His refined taste and great eye has helped make this process a lot smoother than I anticipated. He's simply amazing and I love how well we communicate with one another.

Yes, our wedding is only one day long[in our case it's a marathon of events] so it's important to not lose sight of why we're getting married in the first place. Since we're far ahead of our wedding schedule, we planned to book one vendor a month. Every week, we go on dates and just continue to develop our relationship. I couldn't ask for anything else, with the exception that he doesn't get deployed before/during our wedding.

CONTRACTS
Especially for those who are in the military armed services, it's important to include a military clause. If for whatever reason Mark gets deployed during our wedding, we are completely covered; we can move our date to the next available date of choice(move it up or back), or if for whatever reason the vendor can't provide service, they will refund us 100%.

More Vendors: Photobooth, DJ, After Party

While Mark was in Jacksonville, NC during his MOS training, Noreen Cabellon my future sister in law, aka my Matron of Honor went with me to my first bridal expo. It was interesting, upon registration, we were given bags full of "goodies." Lines were long and there were plenty of brides, a few grooms, and the bride's entourage. The event was in the earlier part of the year, prior to all the wedding planning, but fun none the less. We enjoyed the cake samples (it was from the same people who made Noreen's wedding cake), enjoyed critiquing the fashion show, and taking pictures in the photo booth! I highly recommend going to expos, they're inexpensive (there are always discounts that they email, a couple weeks before the event) and they're a great way to figure out what you want and don't want.

PHOTOBOOTH

After experiencing our first photo booth at Dan and Noreen's wedding, we knew we wanted to have one of those at our wedding. They're fun and they give the guests an opportunity to goof around while being able to take the pictures home as a souvenir! A few days after the expo, I contacted the owner of Nova Photobooth and we were able to negotiate an amazing price. Needless to say, I signed the contact! I'm so excited!

DJ
The DJ is the single most important vendor we can have. The DJ sets the mood and the tempo for the night, so we wanted to make sure we did it right. A few years back, I planned the D6 Semi Formal on behalf of Mason and enjoyed the DJ we booked. He spun music that was not on the radio and got the crowd going! When I contacted him, he said he no longer did weddings [what a blower!]. But when one door closes, a window opens. Mark and I had contacted his cousins [Gabe and Melissa] who had a DJ we raved about during their wedding. The DJ played every type of music from line dances, ballroom, motown, r&b and etc. We figured we'd contact him. DJ Ran was very organized, sent me a timeline for events, and specific music we wanted. DINGDING! We found our DJ! After negotiating with him, we signed the contract and gave him our down payment to reserve our date!

AFTER PARTY
How many weddings have we attended and wish the night still kept going...a LOT!

Although we're inviting and expecting a large turn out for our wedding, we're unable to invite many of our friends. Family comes first and has priority on our list; we feel bad that we cannot invite many of our college friends, so we found a solution! We're throwing an after party immediately following our reception. The after party is meant for our guest and the people [who would love to invite but can't due to our numbers]to mingle and just have informal fun! This way, we can have our friends spend time with us on our special day. The after party will be for 2-3 hours after the reception and include a cash bar, snacks, and a DJ to keep the party going. Formal attire is not required!

Excel = Lifesaver

Excel spread sheets are amazing, I use it for everything. The tabs on the bottom are helpful, we're able to categorize each page and stay organize! From the guest list[separating mom and dad's side of the family x2 and the friends we're inviting], wedding list, engagement party information, rehearsal dinner, brunch, church photo wedding groups [this will be explained later, it's very helpful], payments for each vendor, vendor point of contacts, seating arrangements.

For the sake of keeping everyone's information private, I scratched out the private information.

This has kept everything organized and I can send Mark any updates and he can do the same.

Vendors: Photographer, Website, Save the Dates

WHAT TO LOOK FOR
During wedding meetings, it's not feasible to carry around a laptop, it's very difficult to walk and talk. I have 2 notebooks, 1 large and 1 compact. It's important to document highlights during each meeting [what makes the vendor stand out from their competition?]. Immediately after each meeting, in the car, Mark and I talk about what we liked and disliked about each vendor.

**Key Note:If you know someone who has more knowledge in certain areas, ask! It can save you a lot of time.

PHOTOGRAPHER
We knew we wanted amazing pictures--in a span of 2 days we met 7 photographers! Trust me, it was exhausting!!

We aren't photo connoisseurs and we certainly didn't know what we were looking for. All we knew is that we wanted incredible documentation for our day. We contacted one of Mark's family friends who went to photography school and asked him specific questions [what makes a photographer a good photographer, etc]. He suggested we go with someone who has more technical experience and that didn't rely too much on photoshop. OH, and of course the price+package that would fit our budget!

After meeting and seeing so many photographers and their style, we were able to narrow it down to 2.
Why we went with our photographer, aside from asking our friend for his opinion[haha]

Ron Solimon:
1. He had incredible shots from previous weddings and brought MULTIPLE albums for us to look at. Plus he did a photo shoot for Manny 'PacMan' Pacquiao [ i mean he must be good right!]
2. Although fairly expensive, he offered a larger package which included: engagement photo shoot+ a CD(plus a really nice hard album cover), more album pages (25 is standard, he offered 50), hand delivery of the album, parents albums are customized to our parents and what pictures they want from the larger album, a customized guest book of our engagement session, and unlimited time for the day of wedding. THEN on top of everything, they offered to be at our rehearsal dinner

Why is it important for our rehearsal dinner? Our rehearsal dinner will not only include the people at the wedding but my parents and mark's parent's immediate family members+kids. It will be a huge gathering and we're looking forward to being with everyone.

WEBSITE

Mark and I are fortunate to have incredible friends, specifically, Charlene Prosser who is also one of my bridesmaid! She worked on developing a website for us that was simple, yet elegant. Mark and I knew we didn't want a website from the knot, weddingwire, etc.[not knocking them, love the sites]. We wanted something more personalized with a simple URL for people to remember. I still need to give her our pictures so she can complete the website along with our contact information--all though everyone should already have it =] I have to remember to give her everything! lol, but to view our website its: www.sherryandmark.com


SAVE THE DATE
After our wonderful photo shoot [held during the cherry blossoms] and our website completed, now it was time to work on our Save the Dates "STDs." We wanted to send them out earlier so family can start planning to save money to come across the country/world. I have gone through multiple websites but realized Costco works with a few websites and give incredible discounts. Mark and I spent $161.77 on 175 magnets with extra envelopes. The other websites were quoting $195+. It was a great save!

I went to Staples and bought the clear labels and printed out everyone's names & addresses, what a wonderful invention! It saved a LOT of time!

6 months too late

This one gentleman approached us and told us how he was taking a picture of the monument when he realized he captured a picture of Mark proposing to me on one knee. I started to tear and Mark asked him if he could send us the picture.







I've been engaged for about 10 months and officially started the planning process back in March. After I got engaged, Mark asked me if we should look for a wedding planner since he didn't want me to stress out [what an insult! haha j/k]. Of course I understood his concerns, but I declined his offer. I enjoy putting together events and this was the one event I refuse to pass on to someone else, plus it would be a waste of money!
I did tell him I would need a day of planner to keep me stress-free on our special day though!

Anyways, why blog now? A few people have talked to me regarding my wedding with lots of questions on what I was doing and how quickly I do things. I figured I might as well document what I've experienced and share with the world the days leading up to my big day.

FIRST BLOG

The single most important thing we needed to figure out was our Budget! It's important to look at finances and know what you're willing to spend without going broke at the end of the day. Work your budget around the wedding, rather than working your wedding around the budget. Don't plan the wedding then cut things out based on what you can afford, otherwise it will be a large disappointment. Next thing on the list was to secure our date. I spoke with the Priest at St. Leo's and reserved May 19, 2012. The third most important thing we had to do was secure a venue. My logic: church+venue = secured date!

I locked down the date with St. Leos and knew it was time to find a venue. Mark and I weighed out our options between hotels, country clubs, and mansions. Originally, we wanted to go with a mansion but unfortunately we couldn't find any place large enough to support the amount of people we're expecting[that wasn't too far from the church.] We figured, a hotel would be our best bet. Mark and I set up appointments with various hotels: Marriott, Crown Plaza, Hyatt, etc.

After seeing the Dulles Hyatt and meeting Joanna Bentz, we knew that was our venue. We're the "old fashion" type of couple, I prefer dangling chandeliers over any modern lighting, soft tones over eccentric colors, and etc. Although the venue is modernized, the ceilings were higher than other hotels and the space is glorious [we are taking up the entire ballroom!] That means we're able to have an incredible dance floor!!!!

The Negotiation
Luckily with my negotiating skills, I was able to take almost $15,000+ off of our venue! How did I do this? It's important to shop around. Let's put it this way, you wouldn't buy the first car you look at, would you? Do your research! I set up multiple appointments with various venues and asked for a proposal. I then looked at the proposal with Mark and we talked about what we liked and didn't like[very important to communicate]. Then during our site visits, I would take my notebook+proposals and bring up what other places offered [chances are they will match what you're looking for or will try and offer you more.] I refused to sacrifice the food, appetizers, open bar, hours of the reception, etc.

After going back and forth with phone calls and emails to negotiate a reasonable price, we signed and put a down payment on our venue!


THINGS WE CONSIDERED:
1. High ceilings
2. Large dance floor
3. Large capacity--minimum 200 people
4. Food
5. Price
6. Duration of the event